More About Self-Compassion Coaching
What is Mindful Self Compassion?
Self-compassion opens our hearts.
It makes us gentler and more receptive to the compassion of others, including God. As we become proficient in hearing our own compassionate voice, we begin to recognize The Compassionate Voice.
Mindful Self-Compassion can be learned and practiced. The term, Mindful Self-Compassion, is a mouthful, I agree! May we just say MSC going forward?
Frequently Asked Questions About Spiritual Direction
Is MSC a form of therapy?
No. MSC will not fix anything and is not intended to. Rather it is a mindset. It is turning towards ourselves during difficult moments, instead of turning away. We can develop this heart posture and mindset with practice. Compassion is always the appropriate response to suffering and it is the response that Jesus demonstrated.
Who benefits from self-compassion coaching?
Everyone. MSC is different than self-care, self-esteem, and self-worth. Many people confuse these and are unwittingly led down a path that leads away from true compassion. Some are wary of the very term “self-compassion” because they confuse it with these other terms.
MSC involves three specific components which must be present for self-compassion to be effective. When all three components are present, you will not need to worry about becoming narcissistic, unmotivated, or selfish.
What happens in a typical session?
We begin with a Soft Landing to become centered, still, comfortable and present to God. This is usually prayer, mindfulness practice or a guided meditation followed by a few minutes of silent attentiveness to our inner self and the Spirit of God. Then, I spend a few minutes sharing a MSC principle followed by a guided exercise to apply the principle. You will have time to discuss a life situation or something that may have come up through the exercise to receive coaching assistance.
I’m afraid I’ll become selfish and self-centered.
Just the opposite! Research shows that people who practice self-compassion are more compassionate to others than those who do not. And they sustain their care of others over longer periods of time. Self-compassion can give you the comfort and support you need to make difficult character changes and choices. When we are not loving towards ourselves, we exclude ourselves from the circle of humanity that God so loves (John 3:16). There is humility in admitting that we too, need compassion just as all humans do.
How often do people meet for Self-Compassion Coaching?
You will need a minimum of four hour-long sessions to learn the basic principles of Mindful Self-compassion. These should be weekly or once every two weeks. After you have the basics, you may choose to receive coaching on an agreed upon schedule.
What Specifically Can Expect to Gain?
Applying principles developed by Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Chris Germer at the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion, you will receive instruction and coaching in how to:
01
Notice and catch negative beliefs.
02
Turn towards your suffering and painful moments with kindness and support.
03
Speak lovingly to yourself as you would to a friend.
04
Motivate yourself with encouragement rather than criticism.
05
Calm the Inner Critic Voice so that your Inner Kind Voice can support you.
06
Apply all three components of Mindful Self Compassion (mindfulness, common humanity, and kindness) to avoid pitfalls of self-absorption, self-indulgence, and self-esteem.
07
Quiet shame by discovering your deeper wish to be loved and applying loving kindness.
08
Soften, soothe, and allow difficult tender emotions.
09
Rise up on your own behalf with “fierce compassion” to empower and grow.
10
Transition from experiencing your own self-compassion to receiving God’s compassion.
